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God Why?

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I am going through an extremely difficult time right now concerning my relationships…I won’t go into details now..but I could really, really, use the prayers…

Ash

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“Don’t Waste Your Life”

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I decided that today needed to be Lecrae Day lol. Not sure why…but all of his songs have been in my head today. I know this will make my best friend Seth very happy since it’s like all he listens to. So instead of putting these on my Music tab I wanted to put them here for all to see when they first come onto my site today.I encourage you to really listen to the lyrics or look them up if you can’t handle the rap style 😉  I find the lyrics all to be very deep and meaningful. So here are some of my favs…

Don’t Waste Your Life

Fanatic

Jesus Muzik

Joyful Noise (p.s. i looooove this one lots lol even though it’s actually Flame’s song..oh well lol)

Far Away


Stumble Upon

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Stumble Upon is an amazing invention that allows you to simply click a button that you download to your toolbar, and then experience many random mostly awesome sites that you most likely would not have “stumbled upon” before. (WARNING: Stumble Upon Button CAN be addicting!)

So here are some of the sites that I have stumbled upon recently. Enjoy!

http://gallery.artofgregmartin.com/

http://features.cgsociety.org/stories/2009_05/2009_05_stockholmlibrary/15-render-FG.jpg

http://www.ministryofsound.com/Video/VideoHome.aspx

http://www.fast-autos.net/

http://dengedenge.com/2010/04/the-lying-down-game/

http://www.sunbelt-software.com/stu/bubblewrap.swf

“I’m on a horse”

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Old Spice has some super hilarious commercials out there right now. So i decided that I needed to pick some of my favorites and post them for all of you to see. To see more just go to their website :]

Hahahaha too funny 😀

Hardest decision of my life (thus far)…

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On Friday I received notice that I had been accepted to work as a camp counselor at this Clydehurst Christian Ranch Camp in Montana. For this blog I will be sharing with you my story of this whole process so

Once Upon A Time…

Haha just kidding.

Last summer Paul worked at Clydehurst and when he came back he really thought it would be cool if we both went this year. (Side Note: Paul is my boyfriend so you should probably learn his name because starting now I will no longer explain it :)) So we both applied for this summer and honestly I wasn’t too sure if I actually wanted to go. A lot of my reasoning for applying and wanting to go was just so that I could be with Paul. I quickly realized that my motives were all wrong. If I was going to go to this camp it needed to be because that’s where God wanted me so that I could minister to the kids and families there. Not to just be with my boyfriend. Soon after realizing this I started to fear everything about this summer. I knew that I definitely could not handle him going back to Montana for 10 weeks while I stayed here. See they do not have cell phone reception at this ranch so communication was minimal to nothing for us. I never knew when I would be hearing from him again and being the worrier that I am that was not fun for me. Anyways, I had no idea what it was I wanted to do this summer since the thought of Clydehurst wasn’t that exciting for me anymore and most importantly I didn’t know where God wanted me.

Things got more complicated come February when Paul got his acceptance letter in his email. He was so excited, like, you could just tell how much he wanted to go.  Then as the weeks passed by more and more of his friends found out they too were returning and his excitement grew. It was really hard for me. I felt like I was holding him back by my indecisiveness even though I hadn’t even been accepted yet. So there was well, a lot of pressure on me to be as excited as he was. Heck even half as excited as him. Not that he ever purposefully and knowingly put any pressure on me but it was there. So fast forward to this past Friday, March 5th, 2010 when I received my acceptance letter. When I read the email there were so many emotions going through me: happiness, worry,  joy, pure shock, and the biggest one-fear. I’m talking full fledged fear. Fear of all the things I have to accomplish before going, fear of leaving my family and friends for 10 weeks, fear of getting there and hating it, fear of it  doing more harm to my relationship with Paul than good, and ultimately fear of not having control of it. See I know that God already knows what is going to happen to me tomorrow and everyday after that so that does bring me peace and security. I just need to find the strength and the faith to just jump and let God sweep me under his wing.

So where am I now 4 days later? Well, I’m still scared but with the help of my family and friends and Paul, he and I sent in our summer contracts on Sunday night making our commitments to Clydehurst. It’s already been a struggle but I know that this is where God wants me. So now I just need to rely fully on God these next 3 months before we leave to ease my fears and also to strengthen my desire to be at this camp to love on the kids there. Everyday I will be praying for this and that my faith in God will only get stronger. I have no reason to be scared or worried because God is always there.

“Cast all your anxieties on him because he cares for you.”

1 Peter 5:7

This thing called a blog…

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Recently lots of people I know have been starting blogs, and obviously it caught my interest. Now I enjoy writing, but the thought of writing something that the whole world had me worried. The one thing that had me the most worried was: What would I write about? I like to consider myself a rather creative person but I am quite susceptible to ‘writer’s block’. Which is why my current blog name is rather lame. Don’t worry, I plan on changing that. Basically what I want to use this blog for is writing my thoughts on well…anything. Life, music, movies, and even my personal spiritual convictions and prayers. This blog is to be 100% me, what I think and what I feel. So join with me on this journey. It will be an interesting one…